Parenting 101
by Hajabeg
Summary: Tumblr prompt. Future Faberry. "What are you supposed to say when your 5 years old kid walks in on you eating out his other mother?"


"Babyyyyy," Quinn groaned, pulling at her wife's shirt. "I'm already naked… please, stop teasing me."

"I'm not… I'm just worshiping you… because you are beautiful." Rachel whispered reverently, kissing every inch of skin she could reach. "And you're mine."

"I am." The blonde sighed softly as her hand grabbed the back or her wife's neck, pulling her impossibly closer. "All yours, Rach." She added, lifting her hips in order to get some kind of friction to help her release the pressure between her thighs. "For the rest of our lives."

Rachel shivered under the intensity of her wife's words. "I love you so much." The brunette spoke quietly, basking in the feeling of knowing that Quinn Berry-Fabray was trembling under her because of what her hands were doing. "And, God, how I missed you."

"You are not allowed to–" a long moan interrupted whatever Quinn was saying the moment that Rachel's mouth closed over her chest. "Oh, sweet Jesus… Rach…"

"Yes, baby?"

"I will explode if you don't fuck me properly in the next five seconds."

Rachel chuckled darkly, fingers dancing high enough on Quinn's thigh to tease her but clearly not near enough to please her. "Language, darling."

"I do not care about that right now, Rachel Barbra Fabray-Berry!" Quinn said in between moans and grunts. The brunette giggled under her breath and her wife, nearly losing her mind, all but growled. "Shut up and take me already, Berry!"

Ready to comply, and knowing that it wouldn't take long for her to reach the boiling point that Quinn was currently at, Rachel made her way all the way down her wife's body; kissing and licking smooth and pale skin in the process. "I love you." The brunette whispered one more time, and she was about to bury her head between her wife's legs when a smaller, more innocent voice asked.

"Momma?"

As soon as she heard it, Rachel jumped away from Quinn, putting so much distance between them that it was almost as if the blonde's skin had suddenly set on fire. "Oh my God!"

"Andy!" Quinn all but squeaked, fighting with her sheets while trying to cover both of their almost naked bodies. "What are you doing here?"

The little boy was standing in the doorway of his parents' room, one hand playing nervously with his hair and the other holding on tightly to a cute blue unicorn. "I had a nightmare, and momma always says that I can come here whenever I do and feel afraid of the dark."

"Of course, sweetheart." Quinn immediately say. "You can sleep with us for the rest of the night."

"But I'm sure we can find a way to put our little Andrew to bed without him being scared, right?" The brunette asked, voice full of hope while trying really hard not to move because her whole body –at the verge of an impending orgasm– felt like it was about to explode.

"Rachel!" her wife scolded her, unbelievingly.

"_Quinn…_" the brunette drawled out in return, practically whining. But when she saw that Quinn wasn't going to changer her mind, she made a move to get out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower, then."

"No, you are not."

"What?" Rachel squeaked, eyes jumping from her already sleepy son to her frustrated wife. "You really don't expect me to–"

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon… so, as a good wife, you'll _enjoy_ the _comfort_ of the night just as much as I will.

"Do we really need to–?"

"Your son needs you, Berry." Quinn said pointedly, and that was more than enough for Rachel to lie back into the bed. "Can you pass me some clothes?" the blonde asked, kissing her son's forehead and then covering him from the neck down to protect him from the cold of the night. "I don't want to sleep like this while he's in bed with us."

"Of course." Rachel mumbled, grumpy and still upset. She passed over a warm pair of PJs and searched for her own while her wife covered her beautiful body.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight." Quinn finally confessed. Rachel chuckled lightly and was about to reply when Andy asked. "Was that why momma was helping you out?"

"What?" Rachel choked, and looked at Quinn with big, nervous eyes.

"Andrew, honey, what are you talking about?"

"I mean," he breathed out, snuggling closer to Rachel's chest the moment she went back to bed. "Why did you had your head between mom's legs, momma?"

"Oh my God." Quinn said, blushing ten shades of red. "I'm totally not ready for this, Rach, I can't…"

"Don't freak out." Rachel warned, although she was well on her way there already.

"Why are you freaking out, mom?" Andrew asked again, turning to look at his Quinn with extremely curious hazel eyes. "And what was momma doing?"

"You'll see, Andy, the thing is…" Rachel started saying, but trailed off. Her brain was definitely not working too well at the moment.

Besides, what are you supposed to say when your 5 years old kid walks in on you eating out his other mother?

"There was a monster!" Quinn blurted out, and when Rachel couldn't help but slap her shoulder lightly, she added. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry, I just… I don't know what…"

"Andy, sweetie, your mom was scared because… because she thought there would be monsters... in the room… Umm… monsters, down there… so I was just checking out to see that no one but me… I mean, that nothing… would eat her."

"Yes!" Quinn said, mouthing a '_thank you_' to Rachel and thinking that they had already passed the worst part. "That was it."

"I'm five mom, not stupid."

"Excuse me?"

"I know that momma was helping you cool down."

"What?" Quinn asked, her jaw dropping slightly. After all, her son certainly couldn't be talking of–.

"That's what auntie Snixx said when I found her doing to aunt Brittany what momma was doing to you just now." Andy explained casually. "Tana said that she was helping aunt Britt cool down by blowing some air between her legs."

Rachel gasped out loud and Quinn just mumbled. "I'm going to kill them."

Nodding, the brunette added: "I'll help you," to her wife before telling her son. "Well, you'll see… Andy… what Santana told you wasn't _entirely_ true…"

"Mmhmmm…" the little kid said in agreement. "I figured as much."

"How?" Quinn questioned him, still wide eyed. She just couldn't seem to get over her own shock.

"When I told her what I had seen, Beth told me that auntie Snixx was just licking aunt Brittany's pussy… but I don't understand why… I mean, why would Tana lick a cat, mom?"

"I am officially utterly mortified." Rachel whispered, putting a hand over her heart and then mumbling even more quietly. "And Beth is so, so, so grounded… so much that by the time she finally steps out of the house again she'll be 30 or something like that."

"I agree." Quinn whispered back, not wanting Andrew to hear them and willing her permanent blush to disappear. "Andy, baby, why don't we just go to sleep now?"

"Okay… but I have one more question."

Quinn and Rachel looked at each other before sighing and bracing themselves.

"What is it?"

The boy looked at her mother and then, with the most innocent expression possible, he asked, "Do you like to lick pussy too, momma?"

"Andrew Fabray-Berry!" Quinn all but screamed, burying her head in the pillow and not really knowing if she wanted to laugh or cry at the moment.

This was definitely the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to both of them in all their lives.

"I think I'm having a stroke."

"Rachel…"

"I swear, Quinn, my brain isn't working like, at all…" the brunette insisted, making her wife roll her eyes and turn to look at their son with the most parenting looking face possible.

"Listen, sweetheart…" Quinn started saying, not really knowing what she wanted to say. "Sometimes, when two adults love each other very much, they like to appreciate everything about the other in… umm… a very physical way and…"

"No." Rachel cut her off. "No, no and no."

"What?"

"We are not giving our five year old son '_the talk_', Quinn." She said pointedly.

"Not now?"

"Or ever."

"Too soon?" the blonde asked, looking over at Andrew and reaching out to play with his hair softly.

Rachel nodded, firmly even though she was still flushed. "He doesn't even like to see movies with real people on it… definitely way too soon!"

"I'll stop asking questions if it's making you upset, momma." Andrew said sweetly.

Both women chuckled and Rachel kissed his forehead before replying. "What about you go to sleep now and I'll take you to the zoo tomorrow?"

"And will you buy me ice cream? The real one?"

"Yes," Quinn confirmed, smiling lovingly at her son. "All the ice cream you can eat."

"Let's not over do it either, baby."

"You're such a joy kill, Berry." Quinn said playfully, kissing her wife and then kissing her son. "Now, close your eyes and let momma sing you to sleep, Andy."

"I love you a lot, mom, good night."

"And I adore you," Quinn smile grew wider. "Good night, honey."

"Good night, momma, I love you very much too." He whispered, closing his hazel eyes and snuggling into Quinn's body while grabbing one of Rachel finger's with his other hand.

"You are the light of my life, sweetheart. I love you too." Rachel said, and then started singing softly Andy's favorite lullaby.

"That was… totally unexpected." Quinn finally said, a long while after Andrew had drifted to the land of dreams. "But I think we handle it well… all things considered."

"I've been scarred for life, though." Rachel said, smiling and reaching out to take Quinn's hand. "Who would have thought?"

"What?"

"We don't suck at being parents after all, Fabray."

"Go figure." Quinn laughed and then, with a dark smirk, asked. "So, you never really answered Andy's question… do you like to lick pussy?"

"You're a impossible!" Rachel whisper-shouted. "Shut up!"

"I love you, my lovely wife."

"And I love you, my perverted partner for life." Quinn smiled at Rachel's answer and kissed her gently on the lips. "Try to get some sleep, baby… I don't want you to be tired for your show tomorrow."

"My show… or our sex marathon? Because, you know, I actually love to lick pussy."

"Especially my pussy?"

"Only your pussy."

They smiled at each other lovingly and were ready to finally get some well deserved rest when Andrew surprised them, once again, this time mumbling more asleep than actually awake, "Stop talking about cats and go to sleep!"

"Oh my god!"

"Yeap… definitely a stroke."

* * *

_**This was a tumblr prompt that was supposed to be less than 1k but I kind of got excited about it so now it's a bit longer... lmao. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! xoxo Hajabeg**_


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